She stayed awake all night last night. Seemed like she was having some gas pains (Hmm...I'm thinking taco rice or milk was what did her in) and I was so so so tired. By 8 AM I was near tears! Bill never put his mask on, and I was never able to fully wake him up enough to listen to me when I begged for him to put it on, (and I had a Katie attached to me so I couldn't get up and force the darn thing on!) so his snoring drove me nuts all night since my nerves were already raw! (Around 8:30 or so I finally couldn't take it anymore and kicked him out of bed. thankfully not only was he in agreement about leaving, but he also closed the window shades and took the dog with him!) Katie and I finally fell asleep around 10, which lasted until almost noon. It wasn't much, but it was enough for me!
ANYWAY, so I was terribly tired all night, my eyes were bloodshot and I had a crying baby. But in between cries, sometimes she'd just stare up at me and I'd smile at her, and she'd return the smile! I couldn't believe it, and the first two I thought might just be gassy smiles, but nope, she kept doing them! Just when I was about to go crazy from no sleep and not being able to settle her, she pulls out these heartmelting grins that made me want to play and cuddle with her. Finally she's not just smiling up at the angels anymore (when she looks off to a corner or something and makes delighted smiles) but she's actually reacting to me. She'll even stick her tongue out when I do, or open her mouth wide when I do it to her, so she's a lot of fun to play mirror with!
She's sound asleep now, btw. Now that I can't sleep and my body finally gave up on me, she's having a nice big nap in her swing. It's been over an hour now and besides the occasional groan that she tends to make in slumber, she's been peacefully quiet and sleeping away. Meanwhile since I couldn't sleep I tidied up a bit since the first and second floor being messy tends to make me go a bit insane. Not insane enough to let me tackle the dishes today though!
I think I have more cravings now than when I was pregnant! Now I want to eat out all the time and have junk food in a way I never really got into in my pregnancy. I mean, I loved me some ice cream in my third trimester (Oh, how grumpy I would be when I'd go to the freezer for ice cream and wouldn't find any - Bill couldn't come home unless he had more!) but now I can't even bear to look at food that I'm not craving. I've tried and tried to eat normal food that used to appeal to me, but now? I'm back to hating peanut butter sandwiches, or any homemade sandwich really. I don't even want pasta, which I usually enjoy (especially with loads of mozzerella cheese on top!). Now I want tacos, bacon chicken sandwiches, italian subs, fried chicken and since we can't afford these things, I mainly shove down whatever we do have while trying to pretend that it's something I want (usually doesn't go over well!) Lasagna and shephard's pie actually sound good, but there's no way I have time to make anything with fussy Katie! The only foods I'm managing are ones that literally can be cooked in under 10 minutes (which means that even mac and cheese is cutting it close! Also, I hate mac and cheese right now, used to be something I loved!)
I wish there was a way to get caffeine into me and not into Katie! I had to go through pregnancy without sodas, and they'd be SO helpful now - except I can't have sodas because they'll make her gassy AND awake! I tried drinking some iced tea since that doesn't have the bubblies that'll hurt her belly, but then sure, I stayed awake - but so did Katie! So now I only drink things like tea when I'm so desperate I'm about to pass out on her, and usually I can then outlast her in staying awake. Desperate times!
I must say though, that this past month has been going by great. I'm much more patient than I thought I'd be with sleepless nights, bruised and raw nipples (yep, my one nipple actually has two bruises on it!), lack of normal appetite, leaky boobs that tend to leak all over Katie at night and makes me get up to change her and me, and changing diapers every half hour to hour in the day and every two hours at night. I honestly thought I'd be having a mental breakdown by this point and I'd be exhausted and dead. But I haven't experienced any baby blues, and I'm still doing great - I just adore Katie and taking complete care of her honestly seems to come naturally to me. I want to be the one changing all her diapers, holding her at night, feeding her and just caring for her constantly (which is good, since there's no one else to do it anyway! Especially now that Bill is working every week 6 - 7 days again, at least 12 hours each day Last night I fell asleep before he got home, it was after midnight!) I'm terrified of having the next baby (including labor now that I know what i'm in for, ugh!) because I don't know how to do all of this with a toddler besides! But I guess I'll get there eventually and figure it out. Right now, I'm enjoying every moment of Katie to the fullest.
Bathtime cutie:
Her "I freaking hate all these pictures mom, just get me dressed!" look:
Turtle tongue!
Us cuddling together. Katie with her ruffled tutu butt, and me in my prepreggo jeans that fit better than before I was pregnant!!
Sleepy KatieKakes:
Random upsprout of sunflowers! It really boosted my spirits to walk out to our back deck one day and see these. It's been over a week and they're still growing! God must have planted them for Katie, who I call my little sunshine.
Silly!
She smiles in her sleep:
I've been thinking that Katie looks like me with Bill's coloring (probably because the first thing I said when she was born after "OMG, it's a baby!" was "She has my nose!). BUT, I may be wrong! I took this picture yesterday while they were napping, and I definitely see similiarites! A lot of them, actually! Their chins definitely,their lips, their eyes, their eyebrows, their cheeks...but she still has my nose and my toes!
These balloons stayed up for an amazing amount of time! Two of them lasted almost 4 weeks. The princess one was still in the air, but I took it down to tape it on the door with the other.
I love her in pink dresses and bows!
Hiiiiii!
Hanging out on Mommy - Katie's favorite activity!
I love love love this swing! And thankfully, so does Katie! It's what puts her to sleep sometimes, keeps her asleep, and she likes to just watch her room go by when she's not tired.
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