I'm working on calming down today. I've been putting a lot of stress on myself this month. I've been weighing myself down with so much hope, and I'm terrified of when it comes to test and getting a BFN or a period before I can even test. True, it would be amazing to get pregnant this month, but with as much emphasis I'm putting on it, I think I'll be utterly crushed if it doesn't happen. So I'm trying to take it easy. Take a break from crib shopping and bobby cover designs. It's been a lot of fun, but only makes me yearn more and more. I keep dreaming about waking up on the 25th and testing with a BFP as the result. With a 20% chance of normal healthy couples actively trying to get pregnant each month succeeding, I need to stop putting all my eggs in one basket.
I read a few threads last night on baby boards and saw some lucky women posting their test pictures with their faint double line. I had tears in my eyes, because everything in me wants to see that for myself. My fingers are crossed so tightly they might break.
So...stress relieving. I've tried taking my dog for long walks, which works well. I've been baking, which helps. I've glanced at my exercising DVD...>_< still can't get motivation for even ten minutes worth. I've been planning a beach trip with six of my friends and my husband. I'm going to an amusement park this weekend and celebrating our one year anniversary. Still, over all, the most prominent thing that overrides all else is a baby.
Hopefully all of this will result in a double line this month. And even more, hopefully if it doesn't, I'll be able to not fall apart in my disappointment.
No comments:
Post a Comment