Today is horrible.
I generally try to not be negative on the blog, but what can I say? I hate today.
I got no sleep last night because Katie was already cranky. She didn't go to sleep until after 2:30 AM. We had to wake up at 7 AM. The night didn't go very well as my nipples were bleeding before she even started to eat. You can actually see skin missing from around the bleeding areas as theyve been rubbed raw. Latching on herself in the night made me near tears. Latching her on myself made me grit my teeth and whimper. Not one of breastfeedings fun moments, but then again there's not many of those! It's just something necessary and healthy for us. So, I'm trying to suck it up and hope thrush goes away very soon.
This morning Katie got her shots. I went in there thinking that I could choose the shots, as the doctor has told me at every visit that I'm allowed to. We didn't see the doctor today. This time a heavily accented nurse was there and she would not listen to me. In fact, she treated me like crap the moment she found out we were delayed vaxing and gave us lectures like I had no idea what I was doing and she knew better. At least the doctor asked us our reasons and sees that we know our stuff but this woman was just terrible. I wanted only hep B, Polio and DTap. I was worried enough with just those as that's a lot! At first she only said she'd give Katie hep b. Then when she saw that her shots weren't updated the way SHE wanted them to be, she over loaded Katie with a shot I don't even know and added the rotavirus, which I was told she didn't need to start until 6 months. So now Katie is fighting off more than I wanted her to and she's just miserable. On top of that, the nurse refused to let me give her medicine there and only gave me the dosage amount after when we were ready to leave. What a jerk! Then I got home and saw that the meds we have is a new concentration. Oh great! So I called the company and after waiting 20 minutes for someone to answer, they said they couldn't help me. Wonderful. So I call the doctors and can't get through. I want to kill someone. My little baby is crying in pain and no one can help me! (Edit: I'm quite fond of our pharmacist now. I walked up a mostly sleeping Katie to the pharmacist to beg for help and she was wonderful. I took Katie home and dosed her up, shes now doing better)
All this to add on to the stress I'm already having about he suffering from thrush, which probably had her miserable to start with. Her diaper rash just isn't going away like I thought it should be after 2 1/2 days. It's still all there, just not getting worse. But it's not going away. I do it three times a day like I should and it's still there. I just want her bottom to look normal.
I just took the top part of her diaper off and had her outside to expose the rash to direct sunlight. Only managed about 5 minutes before Katie started to fuss (she doesn't like being moved because her legs hurt her. She's happier in the swing but to take her out of the swing, put her down, move the swing out, pick her up, take her out and put her back in the swing would have had her screaming.) I'm going to try to keep doing it as she let's me. I'm also downing probiotics, yogurt and cod liver oil.
Giving Katie her oral nystatin was an adventure, but she shocked me with how well she did. Every time (except the last time when she had enough of it!) she opened her mouth wide when I told her to and didn't mind me shoving a q-tip full of medicine towards the back of her throat. I'm supposed to put it directly on the spot but seeing that it's practically in her throat and it's hard to see when Katie is being perfect and I have someone helping me, it was mainly guesswork. I have to do this FOUR times a day.
That's in addition to giving her medicine every 4 hours or as needed (so I need to keep track of those times), putting the butt cream on her three times a day, remembering to take my vitamins and yogurt, giving Sophie her pill since it seems like she has this too and she hates her pills even when wrapped in disguises, take my own pills, using wipes and sprays on Sophie At least twice a day, and making sure Bill takes his vitamins to make sure he doesn't remain a carrier. Oh yeah, besides this I need time to make breakfast, lunch and dinner - and we have no easy frozen fixes, everything is from scratch. I have to remember to feed and water the dog multiple times a day bc she's fond of eating, nurse Katie on demand with nipples that make me weep, make sure all of the prescriptions we're on get called into the pharmacy and picked up, make sure that while im doing laundry all of Katie's things are separate and then all of my bras are separated from the rest of my clothes, make sure my breast pads are changed very often, make sure all infected areas on katie and me are exposed to air a few times a day if not sunshine, and if I manage to go to the bathroom and maybe brush my hair or teeth in a day, I feel a bit like super woman. And showers? Where do they fit in when the baby is screaming and only wants me and I also have a million things to do?
I'm so tired.
I haven't even started any of the chores not mentioned above and it's already 5 PM. If Bill hadn't bought breakfast this morning all I would have managed to eat is yogurt. At least I've been chugging water today. At least the stomach aches I've had for three days or more seems to have gone away today. I sure hope tomorrow is a bit easier. Something has to let up.
All this and I forgot (though I'm sure she hasn't) that I bumped Katie's head today when tryin to put her in her carseat. Didn't seem very hard but she sure screamed. I'm causing her so much pain lately, I feel terrible. At this rate im going to get a bad mommy of the year award.
Yikes...sorry you're having a rough time :( My hubby and I chose not vaccinate our son at all so I definitely know how you feel with the pressure. For thrush have you tried taking acidophilus? It's a probiotic pill (all natural!)...I've been dealing with thrush as well (so has my son) so I've been taking those pills three times a day as well as give him a crushed up one diluted in breastmilk. So far it's working really well :)
ReplyDeleteThanks! I hate getting her shots, I delayed it at least until three months but everywhere gave us so much grief that we decided to get the ones that seemed most important. Wasn't too happy to see that the nurse snuck one in that I didn't want!
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping to pick up acidophilus tomorrow to start taking and maybe garlic pills as well (though I hate garlic!). Our health food store is over a half hour away so it isn't a quick drive and we don't get there much. I wanted to get acidophilus last time I had this bit by the time we got to the store I had forgotten about it!
Girl, I would call the office first thing tomorrow, ask them what that extra shot waz, and tell them to write in big bold letter accross her file that that nurse doea NOT touch my child again, explain why, and tell them if she does you will be filing assault and battery charges. She had absolutely NO RIGHT to givr her anything that you did not approve of, and you should be filing a formal complaint with the office. I know that thought overwhelms you, but it needs to be on record that she did it.
ReplyDeleteWe had the receptionist print out what we got, so now we know the initials of what it is but I have to figure out what they stand for. It was not necessary though and not one of the shots I had discussed with the doctor. And Katie's doctor was there in the office but when I asked her to check with her about the meds, she went into the hallway and said to the other nurses "this woman wants to give her child medicine before the shot! Can you believe that? That's not allowed!" then came back and said no she couldn't have it. Uh...you didn't ask my doctor. You mocked me in front of the other nurses!
ReplyDeleteI don't know what her name was, but I'm not doing nurses visits again and going to tell the doctor I will only get shots in her company and what shots we had agreed on. I don't want to make much of a fuss here because there's not many doctors in the area that listens or supports not supplementing, exclusively breastfeeding, and delayed vaxs. And the nurse had such a thick accent, I couldn't tell what she was saying half the time. But I clearly told her the shots I wanted and she came back with two extra that I hadn't requested and nether had the doctor.
Its a legal issue, and the office needs to be aware of it. If you told her what you wanted and she did others that you did not want, it's assault and battery, plain and simple. Also, they need to know tgat YOU know she was mocking you.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, call Northern Berks and see if Kindt is taking new patients, and check him out. If you can prove you know what you're talking about, he'll let you do whatever.
Hope baby's feeling better today!
Jill, you HAVE to do what Adrienne is telling you. There is no way you can let this go. That nurse had no right to give you shots you didn't approve, to not ask the doctor when you requested for her to do so, or to mock you in front of others. She should lose her job, bare minimum.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you are a great mom! I know it can be rough, and you have a lot going on, but you are doing fabulous! Katie has forgotten about everything and even if she hadn't, she would forgive you! Now you need to forgive yourself. Mom's are allowed to make mistakes. Being a parent isn't all fun and games. Being a parent isn't always easy. And being a parent means countless days and nights of worrying, sadness, tears, pain, sorrow, and more. But those happy moments-- those moments of joy, laughter, smiles, new adventures, and so much more-- are worth every heartache, worry, and fear you will ever have!
Here in PA, the liability is extremely high for OBs and Pediatricians. If you have anything on your record, like making a fuss at another doctor's office or lawsuits, they WILL NOT take you on. Someone in my family decided that she was only going to do no vaxxing and gave the doctor's office a hard time. They kicked her out, and NO ONE else would take her. She had to take her kids to clinics until she moved out of state. Doctors around here don't fool around and they don't take on risky clients. If you have a history, then it's good luck trying to find a doctor that will see you. This doctor's office is the most accepting one we've found. They're better than the rest, and were recommended by the midwives. They're far from good, but they're tolerant and I can't get kicked out from it. I can leave, which I'm planning to in a few months but I can't get kicked out from making a fuss.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened the other day won't happen again. Shots are normally given at doctor visits, where the doctor tells the nurses what to give based on what I say. I refused the shots at the last doctor visit because Katie was sick, which is why we did a nurses visit. That will never happen again, so I don't have to worry about it with Katie. I'd rather fix the problem calmly than to have her blacklisted and not treated in doctor's offices anymore. Besides that, they wouldn't do anything about it. there was a paper that Bill signed saying it was ok. She didn't explain the initials of all the shots beforehand, but it was signed and that's all that matters.
I had no idea how hard things were until becoming a mom in this state. Things aren't just as easy as reporting and getting a nurse taken care of like i would have thought before. It's risky business and I'm not willing to take the risk with Katie's health care over a stupid nurse. That's taking a bad situation and making it much, much worse.
Parenting definitely isn't all fun and games! lol. But it's definitely worth it.
I'm pretty sure it is a federal law to not accept a patient or to kick a patient out because of a complaint or grievance..
ReplyDelete