Wow, how is it already Wednesday? This week went by so fast. Which is a big deal to me, seeing that I only have maybe 19 left! (19 never seemed like such a small number before)
I keep seeing pictures of people's newborns, and watching shows like One Born Every Minute, and I'm really starting to get excited. Which is really good, because I was feeling a bit scared before. It helps to have the nursery mainly finished, I feel a bit more prepared. Once spring hits and I get the dresser loaded up (right now it has a few baby blankets in it, and things that need to get hung on the walls so it's not empty) and we get hospital bags, I think I'll be feeling even more confident. It feels so strange to actually be preparing for a real baby instead of an idea. Each day it feels like this baby is getting so much stronger and it makes it just that much real. It's no longer an idea, it's a real thing that's going to be happening. I'm not sure why that's so hard to wrap my brain around, but it is. I suppose it's because everything is going to change and it's just hard to imagine. But I'm really getting excited and looking forward to it. I can't wait to see what our baby looks like, how it acts, how it is to hold our own baby.
I think cravings are kicking in worse than ever, they seem stronger than just "cravings." They're now like necessities. Yesterday, all I could eat was spinach. I had a big box of fresh spinach, and I boiled some, put some in angel hair pasta, and put some in scrambled eggs. All I wanted was spinach, nothing else seemed at all appetizing.
Today, unfortunately, my craving isn't quite so healthy. I'm eating the last of my special dark chocolate I got for Valentine's Day and feel uninterested in other food (unless it's Burger King, I'm craving pickles, mustard and ketchup.) Seems like all of my cravings are changing, I went from wanting all red meat to wanting chocolate. I guess my cravings aren't following the gender lines, since these tip on both genders.
I'm not sure if I reported before about the muscle in my side, but it still hurts like crazy. And just like everything else in pregnancy, Sophie managed to mimic it. Somehow this morning Sophie hurt her leg (after only an hour of waking up, no idea how) and she's limping now, so now we're both limping around the house hurting. I think that dog is a little too close to me, she used to throw up next to me when I was going through morning sickness, she used to take my naps with me when I needed daily naps, when I have to pee every five minutes, she asks to go outside too like she has a suddenly tiny bladder, and now she's limping when I am. At least slowly my stomach is healing, it would be completely better by now I'm sure, if I didn't happen to keep pulling it by doing something stupid every day.
I heard that pregnancy creates really weird dreams, and it's been very true so far. However, this past week for some reason, I keep dreaming about my dead grandmother. I have the most random, short dreams about her coming to visit me and talking about my marriage, or my baby, and it always seems like the most normal thing in the world in my dreams. Usually my dreams are very realistic, and if someone is in them that isn't in real life, it usually occurs to me. But it doesn't in these dreams, I always just sit there and chat with her. They're neither good or bad dreams, nothing really happens in them, they're just short and I always wake up after. Anyway, I've been trying to figure out why, after 7 years of not being here, I'm suddenly having nightly dreams of her.
16 days until the ultrasound. I'm so afraid this baby is going to be unrealistically still and have it's legs closed. I'm desperate to find out the gender of this baby, I even peed on baking soda the other day just to try another gender test. It came out girl, which is contradictory to other tests. I'm hoping since this baby is SO active, poking or walking will get this baby to open it's legs so we can know. I don't think I'll be able to leave the doctor's office not knowing. I'm tired of saying "it", or callling the baby silly names like Squiggles (which I accidently picked up from the swiffer cleaning commercial about the dog that looks like a mop and is told to "squiggle". I accidently called the baby by our boy name while talking to it the other day, and that made me wonder if my subconscious knows something the rest of me doesn't. 16 days is way too long though, my doctors always seem to have the worst timing to go on vacation!
Also, my hormones are killing me. They're driving me to start collecting Willow Tree figurines, they're so adorable they make me want to cry. I'm hoping to buy the one that shows a husband and pregnant wife, or the one with a husband, wife and newborn. I have NO idea where I'd put a collection of these, but I just think they're so adorable and ebay has them pretty cheap. So hopefully sometime in the future I can grab a few of them, I love the looks of them. Every time I see them in a store, or a picture of them, I feel the extreme pull to quick buy one. Basically, the same need I have for teddy bears and baby things. lol
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