So, this is what separation anxiety means. How horrible! I can't get anything done because Katie never wants to be put down. And if she is down, if I'm not exactly right in front of her when she looks up every single time, she screams in terror.
I have no idea what happened today. She was super sleepy by 1, rubbing her eyes and yawning. So when Bill left, I went to go put her to sleep. This began an hour and a half scream fest at the top of her lungs. I nursed her, held her, sang to her, comforted her, walked her, played music for her, tried different positions, different rooms, etc. NOTHING WORKED. She screamed and screamed and choked and threw up and screamed. Sometimes a toy would get her attention and would immediately make her stop and giggle for a moment. It didn't look like she was in any pain as she could be distracted with silly things for a while. She just seemed overly tired and crazed. I felt bad for her and the screaming just wore away at my nerves until they were nearly raw. Worst nap time never. She finally fell asleep while walking and she's currently laying on top of me. She's sound asleep, unless I move.
Today isn't the best. I had just mopped the floor this morning and the dogs dragged in huge amounts of dirt all over it and the sofa. So I have to mop it again and wash the sofa cover on top of my very long list of chores today. Then I found out that there's no toliet paper in the house. Fine, I'll use tissues. Oh wait, no tissues either? No napkins? Of course. And I can't go to the store with a baby who won't stop screaming, plus I don't feel like walking through town holding onto a case of toilet paper. And the pasta I made has no sauce for it, the meat for what was supposed to be dinner is still an ice cube, and I'm exhausted but can't sleep with a baby on my chest. On top of everything, Katie seems to be a perfect angel for her daddy. Last night he was eating yogurt. He gave some to Katie. Katie liked it, licked her lips, and opened her mouth like a baby bird for more. She laid in her crib perfectly for him. As soon as he walked in the door she was a delight instead of the screaming angry child she was just minutes before. Being a mommy definitely is lacking any glory! I wipe her butt, deal with sore nipples and leaking through clothing to feed her, get drenched when I give her baths, try to find different foods and ways to feed her so she'll eat, look like an idiot while I clean so she'll be happy in her exersaucer for more than two minutes, drag her laundry up and down two flights of stairs each way and make sure to wash it with her special soap so she has the few pieces of clothing washed that she hasn't outgrown already, and all I hear all day is her screaming at me. Bill, who sees her only for two hours in the morning sometimes and an hour at night, gets nothing but squeals of happiness and loving smiles. *sigh* she'll like me eventually, right?
I need chocolate.
*sigh* she'll like me eventually, right?
ReplyDeleteFor a few years she will "like" you. From about ages 2 to 10. But then she will become a teenager and hate you and resent you for everything you "did for her". It is part of the whole mothering process, you get criticised from everyone around you while you are raising your child cause your not doing it the way "they did it". Then your child grows up and they criticise you for all the things you did or did not do for them.
You never, ever win. But you do become humbled and you realize how wonderful and fantastic your own mother really is and how much she sacraficed for you. You also realize what a arrogant jerk you were in how you treated her sometimes :) But....such is life, and the cycle of life goes on.........Mothering is not only the hardest job in the world it is also the most humbling. Take heart though, God loves a humble person :)
I knew you'd say that, even as I was typing it.
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